This year I felt a mix of things over the holidays and the prevailing emotion was exhaustion to be totally honest. I was trying to get things done early, be present with loved ones and make sure my son got to make memories with us. I think it’s an internal thought I can never get rid of but I always come out of these moments feeling as if I didn’t quite hit the mark. Maybe we didn’t do enough Christmas activities, maybe I didn’t get every one enough presents, maybe I didn’t get them the right presents or maybe there’s never enough of anything and maybe I’ll never be the best mom / partner / friend. I didn’t get my partner all the right presents and he made a “does she even know me” comment and now I’ll over analyze it until I can figure out how to never make him feel that way again. He got me things I didn’t even know I wanted that are all very ‘me’ which feels like a lot of effort on his part. I feel like I dropped the ball on reciprocating. We did discuss how every time I ask him what he would like he always says something cute like “your presence is enough”. That’s super nice but I need to know what you’re interested in so I don’t have to watch you hate another present. Do I not pay attention enough when he tells me about things he likes? I’ll start a list. That must be helpful.